Yesterday I went to the solidarity demonstration in front of the Egyptian Embassy in Amman. It was a very interesting experience as the crowd was already large at the start and just kept growing. But what was more interesting was the atmosphere, the crowds and the chants. It was something that I don’t think anyone of us would have witnessed a few years back let alone a month ago.

The crowd was mixed in so many ways whether it was age, gender, class, and there was a sprinkling of varied nationalities too. Everyone chanted, mingled and well was in good spirits. The interesting thing for me was the chanting, people were not only saying things in solidarity of the Egyptian uprising but also anti government, anti peace treaty, anti Israeli in the most explicit of ways. They were even taunting the Mukhabart to record in their notebooks that the people are here to make change and are the decision makers.  Maybe I haven’t been to many Jordanian protests before, but I really felt this was different. There was boldness in how and what people were saying. It was as if a muzzle was somewhat removed. This is the second time I see something like this happen to Jordanians (the first being post Gaza Massacres in 2008). Jordanian’s are slowly and in small numbers waking up and finding their voice and it’s a beautiful thing. We need a political awakening and awareness. We need to get out of our comfort zones or fear zones and work towards a more just and equitable society for all. There is a lot of talk of reform and ways to address it from government change to electoral reform and educational reform. This discussion needs to step away from the few and be taken to the streets. This is slowly happening; it will not be the same approach as that of Tunisia or Egypt, not today at least. But these are interesting times and change is coming. We can either be ostriches and ignore what is happening around us or be proactive and actively participate in any which way we can for social and positive change in our society and in the arena where we are most affective.

Back to the demonstration and Egypt, I do want to say that some of the chants were calling for armed resistance and guns and violence. I was very saddened and upset when I heard these chants. The Egyptians out in Tahrir Square are not carrying guns, are not calling for violent resistance and are not building militias. They started and continue to hold up with peaceful resistance. Violence perpetuated in the uprising is initiated and perpetuated by the State and State actors. And if anything  they are perhaps the most conscientious and humorous revolutionaries in history!  We have a lot to learn from the Egyptian protestors, they are not only inspiring, they have started a process of liberation for all of us and to that we must all be grateful.

It’s that time again in Jordan when the streets are littered with those photoshoped pictures of middle aged men with mustaches peppered with the occasional female face and salted with the younger faces of men who have inherited the desire to run for a parliamentary seat. But what they all share are the tired old slogans that include nationalism, Palestine, freedom and some sort of economic mumbo jumbo.  What irks me the most is the complete lack of respect for the voters’ intellect and our ability to see right through these slogans.

 

 

For example you have a slogan that reads “نعم, الوطن لجميع’ this translates into “Yes, the homeland is for all”. So what does that really mean? Does that mean as a Jordanian woman I can pass on my nationality to anyone even my Palestinian kids? Does that mean a Jordanian with Palestinian ID no longer has to worry about the arbitrary withdrawal of Jordanian nationality and citizenship? Does that mean a migrant that has been in Jordan for over 20 years, has paid taxes and become part of the Jordanian fabric they can now become a Jordanian citizen and actually vote? What does a homeland for all mean, really mean, on practical terms?

 

 

 

OK let’s move on to another slogan that is about إصلاح or in English reform. Hmmm this guy among others does not say much else on the issue of reform. So my question is with the government already reforming and privatizing so much of its institutions what reform is he talking about? Political reform? I mean some of our biggest problems stem from the fact that as people we do not have freedom of speech, freedom of assembly and don’t get me started on the freedom to associate and the new Associations’ Law. Does he want to tackle these issues or is this not reform worth working for?

 
What about the one that calls for a “فلسطين حرة” a free Palestine. Seriously, how will you as an MP work to free Palestine? Will you call for a state boycott on Israeli goods? Will you work to revoke and amend the “negotiated” Peace treaty and create more just and more equitable terms for Jordanians and Palestinians? Or will we wage war? What will you do as an elected MP to Free Palestine?

 

 

 

Another slogan that is interesting and at some level honest “بلا شعارات”  translates into “Without Slogans”. At least this candidate had the decency not to insult us with empty slogans and lofty statements. But even a no slogans campaign is condescending and arrogant for it doesn’t convey the true essence of this candidate’s campaign. When discussing her background it turns out this candidate is a hard core capitalist with a history and track record of working for the Jordan Investment Board and the Chamber Of Commerce which to me are red flags. What agenda will the person who is promising no slogans be pushing and will it be one of social justice and engagement or an elitist, capitalist agenda that will be pushing Jordan further towards a “global economy” whatever that may be?

 

 

 

And don’t get me started on the slogan that drips with religiosity and how it is our religious duty to vote and vote for the right man otherwise condemnation and eternal hell await us!

 

 

 

We as voters need to look critically at these slogans and read, question, and critic the agendas and manifestos of these candidates if we truly want change. Voting for the same mustache, same slogan, and same tired old parliament will bring us nothing but the status quo.  And it is this status quo that got us to disband the parliament we last elected and has us come back to this same place again where we as a nation get to “choose” our representatives.

 

 

 

I would really like to find a candidate that has engaged with the street, the public, on a grassroots level. Someone who has not just intellectually masturbated in political salons about what this country “needs”. I would love to see the day come when I don’t have to try and sift through names I don’t know and read through empty slogans and agendas but engage with an MP that shares my politics, values and beliefs and is able to represent the people and what they desire rather than the will of the government masked as the “voice of the people”. I would love to find a candidate that has started working on issues for the people, is from the people way before election campaigns start. I want a candidate that has tried to instigate positive change within our communities and societies because it’s the right thing to do, and is a way of life for them, not because they aspire to be and Member of Parliament or Cabinet one day.

 

 

 

 

Until that day comes I will vote because it is my political right to vote. As engaged responsible citizens it is our duty to go and vote. Because I count, you count and you count and you count… we all count and when we are counted our voices can be heard. Members of Parliament are our representatives in government. They are the voice of the people. Today we have a choice to make, remain silent and take the day off come Election Day, or go to a polling station and vote. And when we vote we also make a choice we can either choose to make a difference and keep the status quo by voting for someone, anyone even if they don’t carry our message or ideals or desires for a society, a better Jordan, because they are the lesser of all evils present or we can choose change.  But how if we don’t choose a candidate you ask? By voting blank.

 

 
If change doesn’t manifest it’s self in the form of a candidate then you can choose change by voting blank. Write in NO CONFIDENCE, I DON’T WANT ANY OF YOU, Captain Majed from Abtal Al Mala3eb or your own name even, just make sure you have a ballot and you use it. That ballot may or may not be counted in the results but you as voter will be counted towards voter turnout and THAT is a significant message rather than the one of apathy sent by sipping a coffee from the comfort of your home or favorite café. It is a strong message of a politically engaged and aware citizenship that is tired of the same old crap over and over and over again. Because voting for the lesser of all evils is voting for the status quo, and the status quo just won’t do anymore.

 

OK for those of you that read my post about my birthday celebrations and want to partake I have an update. There is a lot of coordination and collaboration involved in making these things happen so I would like to thank everyone who expressed interest in joining me and more importantly those of you helping me make my thirty second birthday a celebration of us rather than me. And so here are the various events and ideas that all or any of you can help in and by doing so give me a fantastically rewarding birthday:

 

  1. Jabal Al Qalga Kite making and flying with the kids of the neighborhood with Hamzet Wasel Initiative
  2. Renovating and fixing of Women’s Center in Gaza Camp in Jerash with V-team Initiative
  3. Undecided event with Zikra Initiative
  4. Buy a tree and plant it in Palestine with APN – Arab Group for the Protection of Nature (http://www.apnature.org)
  5. Give me your old clothes, recyclable paper, tins and plastic and I will send them to a community center or the recycling center
  6. And finally for those that just want to hang out a walk in Jabal Amman and a walk in Jabal Al Weibeh (two of my favorite places in the city) the weekend following my birthday

 

 

I will post more info these initiatives and events and include dates, times, places and costs this coming week. And for those of you on Facebook I will create events for them. All are welcome even if I don’t know you and you want to do these things Ahlan Wa Sahlan.

I will soon be 32 and I have been asked what I want for my birthday whether it be for celebrations or for gifts. These questions got me thinking about past birthdays and gifts and what they’ve meant to me. I’ve done the crazy parties with the cakes and sparklers and massive amounts of booze, the traveling for my birthday and the quiet dinners. But this year I want something different, and I know exactly what I want.

This year what I want involves none of the above in any way, shape or form. This year I do not want any parties in bars or restaurants or cafes. I do not want any celebrations with cake, or alcohol or food. I do not want all that money spent for such a selfish and self centered purpose. My birthday! There have been many and who knows there may be many more too. But I do not want to be the excuse for a night of drunken revelry, I do not want massive amounts of food consumed at some lavish dinner in an expensive restaurant, I do not want anyone to go out of their way for me to celebrate in frivolity a day that comes a long often enough and there is really nothing special about it except that I popped out from between my mother’s legs like thousands if not millions of others on that day.

I do not want any gifts either not matter how big or small, grand or symbolic for I have enough stuff in my life and I am trying to get rid of a lot of it! There is nothing I really need at this moment in time and the things I want I can do without. So thank you but no thank you.

When I made these declarations to my friends their faces were so puzzled, confused and some were upset and said that was unacceptable! And so I told them that what would make me happy instead was for them to do something selfless, something that gives back to the community, something outside themselves and me.

One of my favorite quotes is “Be the change you want to see in the world” by Ghandi and this year this is what I want for my birthday. And so to celebrate I want organize an event that gives back to the community in some way or form. That recognizes the pleasure in working together to make a difference. If there is any money to be spent then it would be on the event and it should go towards your local community. And if you insist on giving me a gift then make a donation in my name to an organization that makes a difference to people’s lives like a cancer foundation, orphanages, NGOs that work on community development, and if you don’t want to give cash then clean out your closet and give the things you don’t want to people who can use them like the Gaza aid souk or the King Hussein center for the mentally disabled, or Ruwwad in Jabal Al Natheef, if you want to do this and don’t know how give me a call and I can help you or just drop things off with me and I can take care of it. Spend a day volunteering. If even that is too much trouble then just do something nice for a stranger in the street, it can be that simple.

If you still insist on giving me something personal then give me a good memory. Walk with me in the streets or Jabal Amman, come over and watch a movie, let’s have a good conversation, send me a letter or an email or help me paint a new bookcase I’m getting, take a picture and send it to me. I will also personally be arranging an outdoor activity that will focus on giving something back to the world we live in. Let me know if you want to be part of that activity, it will make me really happy to spend time with my friends doing something along those lines and I will post it here once the details are sorted out.

Help me be the change I want to see in this world we live in and embody some of the ideals and beliefs that I have. Yes I am an idealist and to some I may be foolish, but I think we can make a difference one small step at a time. Will you walk with me?

Have you ever had the feeling like you don’t belong? You are from another time or place? Looking back and looking around me I know I am a misfit. It doesn’t matter where I am or who I’m with or even what I’m doing, I’ve just always had the feeling that I don’t belong.


I think my first awareness of this came at the age of 13 when I first moved to Jordan. It didn’t matter what  school I was in, which cousins I played with, what activity I was doing. I never quite fit in. My first set of friends in Jordan were from high school. We met in that first week of school where everybody knew everybody and nobody knew us. The six of us banded together through our differences, our weirdness, our stories and together we became friends despite all that. We accepted each other despite not liking each other at first. Today my longest standing relationship is with those friends. We still have our fundamental differences but when we get together we are still accepting of each other and enjoy each other’s company. I truly believe to this day we are a band of misfits trying to navigate our way through the world.

 

 

But moving to the present that feeling of being on the periphery has never really gone away.  Even amongst friends and surrounded by people I consider close, many a time I feel I am an observer, standing in the corner watching, observing, but not partaking. Not one for cliques or groups, always inside but on the outside. A misfit.


I guess I have resigned myself to the fact I will always be a misfit, at work, at home, with friends, in cliques, in clubs… amongst the girls, and amongst the boys. It may mean going it alone a lot and maybe even being lonely. But the flip side of that is that I have stronger personal bonds with individuals rather than groups. It’s the way I am and I don’t really think I mind being a misfit. Its like that toy the ball with different shaped holes in it and you have blocks or pieces in different shapes that you need to fit through the right shape to get in. Well the thing is my shape keeps changing. I am never a square, triangle or circle .And yes it means I am on the outside most of the time, but at least I am not penned in with all the other shapes that fit through the hole. Trapped inside a cage of norms, customs and beliefs. I am an ever changing shape that will not fit in, I just may fit ever now and then.