Creative Writing

I still my pen because I still my mind. It leads me to places that I have visited time and time again. I am tired of my mind and so I am tired of where my pen goes. 

I still my pen because I still my mind. It leads me to beautiful places that only exist there. I want to share them only with myself and so because I am selfish my pen is quiet. 

I still my pen because I still my mind. It remembers a history told before. It remembers happiness and pain. It remembers laughter and anger. It remembers what cannot be shared, and so it forgets as does my pen. 

I still my pen because I still me mind. Nothing is worthy of the ink. It dries on paper with empty words. There is no story to tell. There is no inspiration.

I still my pen, I still my mind, I still my heart.  

Let me take you for a walk in Damascus
I’ll and show you it faces
I’ll show you its places

Let me take you for a walk in Damascus
You can hear it voices
You can feel its pulses

Let me take you for a walk in Damascus
It is as old as time
It has many stories to tell

Let me take you for a walk in Damascus
You can write your own history
Make your own tapestry

Let me take you for a walk in Damascus
Meet the players
Feel its rhythm

Let me take you for a walk in Damascus
A walk through antiquity
A walk through history

Let me take you for a walk in Damascus
See it through my eyes
See it through new eyes

Let me take you for a walk in Damascus  

The Argeela bubbles
The sweet scented smoke clouds
I am lost in the headiness of it all
The coals swirl around, hot, red, don’t touch you’ll burn
I in hale deeply, knowing the danger, loving the effect
Her voice bubbles
In the dark, it gurgles, it laughs
In the dark, she is my vice
She is my release
She is my pastime, my leisure
My quiet voice in the dark
The voice of thought, of anger, of laughter and of pleasure
The voice that whispers sweet nothings all around me through smoke
She is my vice that I can not indulge
She is the voice I can not hear
She is my voice in the dark
She is the argeela.  

It boils
It rages
It reaches the rim
It surfaces
But it stays within 

I anger from silence
I anger from indifference
I anger from pain
I anger from words never spoken
I anger from within 

My pen writes in fury
My mind races with thought
My feet stomp the path way
It is all a hurricane circling within.

I see a halo of light.
I see a halo of words.
I see a halo of deeds.
I see a halo of history.
I see a halo of promises.
I see a halo of friends.
There are many circles around you.

The light is ever changing like you.
The words sometimes flowing from you.
The deeds speak of the inner you.
The history is what makes you.
The promises are what bind you.
The friends, they up lift you.
There are many circles around you.

These are the circles that I see.
These are the circles that I remember.
These are the circles that are you.
These are the circles that I enter. 

It’s coming close to the end of the year and it’s that time when I look back and remember the year that was: what I have done, where I have gone and how naughty or nice I’ve been. I reflect back on the year and recap the highs, lows and the in betweens. 

I started the year with a bang and will hopefully end it with one. I know that its important to be around people whom you like and enjoy being around on such a special day as the new year. I started mine with some of my nearest and dearest around me counting in the New Year. I was so happy to see 2006 go and to start 2007 that I forgot to set my new year’s resolutions. Which was not a bad thing at all. I floated through the year and did things I didn’t think I would do. 

So what were the accomplishments of the year? I went places I never thought I would go, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I partied through the first half of the year, I came to terms with a troubled past, I lost weight, 20 whole kilo grams, I fell in love, I started a blog and wrote like I never did before, I explored the poet within.

My greatest accomplishment this year is realizing that its OK not to the superwoman I always tried to be. I learnt to acknowledge defeat, to hurt, to feel and to let people know it. I learnt to be human. And that meant to feel, to hurt, to cry, to laugh, to jump, to make mistakes, to be a child, to just be. 

Another great step this year was goal setting. I made a decision last year to travel to Sri Lanka and I actually saw it through. I never was good at long term planning and to be able to actually go from concept to planning to execution was amazing. The trip itself was amazing and life changing in many ways. 

2007 was also the year the cynic in me died, a little at least. I experienced a whole spectrum of colorful emotions that helped me open circles and close others. What a different world it is when the cynic is quieted. You see so much more. You don’t get in your own way with your misgivings about the genuineness of life and its beauty. 

I think back to last year and what the fortune teller on the streets of Bangkok said to me. He asked my birth year, played with the numbers and looked into my eyes while he held my hand and said “30 good, 31 better, 32 BETTER: good money, good job, good lover!” Thirty has been good and if the next two years are gonna get better than this then I look forward to ring the year away and welcome the new one with open arms, closing the circles of the year only to open new fuller, bigger ones.

I dance the night away, and every song is you
I sleep endless nights, and every waking dream is you
I live every distraction, and every moment is you

You are the shadow that follows, even in the dark
You are the seconds of time, that run away
You are the clouds the cover the winter sky, dark, heavy and wet

I smell the coffee every morning, but you are the summer Jasmine
I hear the bells of Sundays, but you are the morning lark
I see the reflection in the mirror but you are the picture hidden in the memory

You are the elusive near
You are the distant clear
You are the effervescent that disappears

The ink is dry, as are my tears.
I look within and all I see is an emptiness.
An emptiness that has returned. 

The ship has left the shore.
I don’t look back as it departs.
My eyes closed, I see what was. 

There is no return.
The currents don’t run that way anymore.
I long for clear skies and beautiful waters. 

For there is no return.  

I wrote this on October 25… its taken a while to post… enjoy.

I’ve lost something
I cant put my finger on it
Is it a friend?
Is it a confidant?
Is it the sun?
Is it the moon?
I feel I have lost something
I don’t know what it is
I closed chapters
I purged my closets
Everything that left was my decision
I have lost something
Is it a part of me, from me, within me?
I have lost something.

I hear you in the waves
They crash with anger
Each wave frothing with rage
Each wave bringing you closer

The sea mist whispers your name
I taste the salt of your name
I smell the freshness of the mist

I want to walk into you
I want you to wash over me
Wash away my sins

Take me away with your current
Take it all away
Let me become one with the sea
Let me become one with the salt
Let me become one with the mist

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