Since I’ve moved to Beirut not a week goes by without someone telling me they hate Amman. It invariably happens when I first meet someone new and within seconds of them knowing I am from Jordan. And I don’t know why they have to make that definitive statement. It is not endearing in any way, shape or form. I don’t want to know how bored you were in Amman, how hostile you found it, how bland you think the buildings are, how unsmiling the Jordanians are or how much you hate the food. That is your experience and if you hate it so much, just don’t go back. And if you hate it and are still there then leave. But what I really don’t want is a 15 minute tirade about how you found Amman to suck and why you think it is so.
There are many reasons I don’t like being put in this situation and one of them is I am not sure how to respond to these statements. Am I supposed to agree when I don’t? Am I supposed to offer advice and tips on enjoying the city, when clearly this person has made up their mind? Do I go into attack mode and tell them why they are wrong? Or do I tell them what I really think about Beirut and enumerate all the things I hate about it and make it a pissing contest? I’ve tried all the above strategies, and because of them I have been asked why I take it so personally, why am I so defensive. I guess the appropriate response is to smile, shrug and if possible walk away?
I’m really tired of hearing people crap on a city I love and miss and it gets more tiresome when you are trying really hard to integrate and live in a city you don’t. I’ve been accused of romanticizing Amman and painting such a glowing picture of it. Well, guess what, yes I confess I love that city, and I loved my life there. I had numerous wonderful experiences and I was part of a movement that was involved and engaged in making that city and that life better. It’s not that I am blind to Amman’s shortcomings and its problems but rather I was able to do something about it, and that has made all the difference!
I think it is completely insensitive and rude to tell someone their home is ugly, boring, retarded…etc. especially to someone you barely know. And at this point I would like to remind everyone of the sage old advice handed down over generations “If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything.” Because really I didn’t ask you if you love or hate Amman, so spare me. We will not bond over Amman hate. And please don’t get me wrong, Amman is not an easy city to navigate as a stranger, it took me years to become a part of the city and understand it, and everyone has a right to their opinion and a right to hate the city. This is their personal experience. But what I am saying is if you meet someone from a place you hate, and they don’t ask you, there is no need whatsoever to tell them their home sucks. It’s their home.
September 22, 2010 at 1:29 pm
Right on! And this coming from someone who’s not all that fond of Amman anymore – although I find myself defending it to people who criticize it to me 🙂 I just reply “That sux that you think it sux”. To that there’s apparently no answer … and a lot of time to think about it!
September 22, 2010 at 4:05 pm
its really sad! in my job i always meet colleagues who traveled the world and did a trip to Amman, even that most of them spends one day there but it was enough for them to see how beautiful Amman is, It would take u lots of traveling and lots of cities to see to really appreciate what Amman is! a city like no other which even when u leave it, a piece of it remains in ur heart and a piece of ur heart remains in it.
September 22, 2010 at 6:29 pm
I love this post. I have had the exact same reactions to people who speak that way about Beirut. very well said Sally! No one should trash talk about someone else’s home. After all, home is where the heart is. 🙂
October 11, 2010 at 11:33 pm
Because the Lebanese are rude and they think it makes them seem cool to be intentionally rude like that.
November 22, 2010 at 1:49 pm
this so true and soo annoying. it happens to me too. “”like why love amman; why dont u see other countries; i cant imagine myself wasting my summer in amman …!!!””
come on! dont u hv manners! would u pls keep ur rudeness to urself!
nxt time when some1 tells u this u immidiatly reply oh u knw what what ur #name of country” is the most boring place i ever been and rudest ppl i ever encountered. how abt tht??
December 15, 2010 at 6:39 pm
well said my friend. If you don’t like it then don’t come back. Like the slogan says”love it , or leave it”
June 3, 2012 at 5:36 pm
Amman Is a beautiful city . Just the people Here , Some really need to get a life ,I think that’s what really people hate about the city is the people .. There’s some good but there’s some that just what to tick the fuck out of you and then when you try to reason with them they just get pissed and blame you for what happened