If in animate objects could speak what would they say? Would your pillow whisper sweet nothings at you and lull you to sleep? Or would it complain about your choice of bed partners and comment on your sex life or lack thereof? Will it remind you when you need to change the sheets? How about the bed will it complain about your weight or wake you up every time you find the perfect position to curl up to tell you its bad for you back? What about chairs and doors and other furniture will it gossip with you or about you? Will they tell all they observe or quietly keep their secrets? Pots and pans will watch your every move and tell you when your recipe has gone awry. What about your boots? Will they sing out “These boots are made for walking…” or will they tell you to watch your step? Too much mud, this patch of floor is slippery, this one too rough? Will your clothes give you feedback about the way you look? “Wear me, I make you slim” from your new black skirt, while those old well worn pant call out “honey you cant come near me you make me look hideous with your big butt!” Will your toothbrush gag from your morning breath and tell you to use mouth wash first? Forget what they will say think of all that constant noise! I am glad that all the objects in my life can’t speak, humans, radios, cars, TVs, the hot water kettle and cats are more than enough. There is a constant din around us and thankfully there are things that don’t need to speak, hum, protest, complain or make one noise or another. So as curious as I am to hear what the walls have to say or where my boots want to go, I’d rather just improvise it all in my head.