Clocks, cars, rivers, birds, and animals all move forward in motion. It is rare to see a clock ticking backwards, or birds flying in reverse. All motion projects itself forward or so it seems. One thing that keeps going around in circles is despite all the activity forward, is us.
We try to move forward in life, whether it be at work, trying to make more money, getting that bigger better job, or just completing the tasks at hand. In our day –to-day lives too, catching up with laundry, dusting, socializing, grocery shopping, or putting food on the table. Our physical selves too, trying to stay healthy, diet, and exercise. Even our minds we try to improve them by reading, debating, learning, growing, and exercising it too. But I find the place where moving forward is the hardest is the heart.
Our emotions, our hearts have a way of running around in circles, not wanting to take the emergency exit, no matter how hard our minds point to it. The heart is a very complex concept. In anger, we know we should count to ten but instead we act in fury making us loop around ourselves or even fall backwards. In happiness, we are impulsive, childlike and perhaps here we move forward and out of thoughtful circles or do we? In love, I think we definitely become giddy, and warm, but also reckless, we take risks and then in loss we go into a spin.
We know not how to move forward in love or loss. We are afraid to lose, and when we do, we are afraid to love. When we love with abandon, with passion, with sincerity, with all our heart, we come alive, we radiate, we become. When we lose it is like a candle that is put out. With no light, we know not where to go, how to move forward, how to be. We are lost and the way forward is in every direction, for all roads are all the same: dim, lifeless, pointless.
So where is the way forward? How do you get there? As I was telling a friend yesterday, I don’t know, but I do know that you keep walking. Even in the darkness you have to believe there is light at the end of the tunnel. And when you least expected your eyes will be blinded by a bright light that comes at you when you least expected. It blindsides you and there is hope once again. The way ahead is clear, and you walk in the light. With time you forget your fear and you regain your wonder. You move forward.