I’m realizing more and more that I trust less and less. People that I shared with intimate thoughts and ideas, feelings and opinions, people I shared amazing experiences with have come to fail me time and time again. Things that are private are made public and sometimes with such twisting and embellishment. Stories and assumptions are made when the facts and details aren’t even there. A part of me has given up trying to explain myself and another part of me is filled with questioning about what I am putting out there into the world.
I have spent years working on building trust and maintaining it. I know I’ve always has a crisis of trust. It takes me forever to open up. But with these trusts broken, and so easily sometimes, I have come to distrust my intuition and ability to judge character. I questions motives, even mine much more now. I feel like I have to think 10 steps ahead and always be guarded about what comes out of my mouth for fear of how it will be interpreted and passed on. It has gotten to a point where I am shutting down.
I don’t want to be so distrustful of the world around me. This crisis has me thinking and rethinking relationships constantly. Trying to step away from the old and build new relationships. But is this the real solution or is this another form of escape away from confrontation?
July 28, 2012 at 11:51 am
Seems there’s something weird in the air these days! Alot of people are walking around assassinating real bonds and kill it with cold blood…
I just heard myself! Intense!!!
Trust me the problem is the next phase…how can you create new friends unbelievably hard as you can never easily trust anyone.
If you found a solution please share, mine was work 200 times more, such betrayals aren’t easy to “digest” in my case.
Hope things work for the best for you, after all such people were poisonous it will take time but after all we’ll grow out of it stronger, I apologies for ranting much just hang in there